Is Your Current "Accountability" Working?

Let's talk about accountability. Not the watered-down, feel-good version that floods your social media feed. I'm talking about the real, gritty, transformative power of true accountability that's been behind every meaningful success I've ever achieved.

Every major win in my life came with help. Whether it was a team working for me, a hired coach, freelancers, or an advisory board, I learned early that going alone is a fool's errand when you're up to big things.

Look at anyone you admire. Every single one has a coach. They might not carry the title of "Coach" officially. They could be a spouse, a sibling, or a neighbor, but they all have someone who helps them move at a measured pace toward their goals.

Here's where it gets interesting and where most people get it wrong. Accountability works, yes. But only if you work it right. And most people don't.

Let's talk about what doesn't work:

• Your mom who's an enabler and celebrates that you're "trying your best"

• Your best friend who "understands" and accepts your excuses

• The social media audience you use for premature celebration

• The accountability partner who's more interested in comfort than growth

These aren't support systems! They're comfort systems. And comfort is the enemy of growth.

We've all heard the advice: "Tell people about your goals and you're more apt to get them done!" But here's the uncomfortable truth. This can be poison for certain personalities.

Don't share your goals if:

• You get high on talking about dreams instead of doing the work

• You're protecting valuable intellectual property

• You're sensitive to negative feedback from people who do less

• The dopamine hit of sharing depletes your actual motivation to achieve

I was this person before I got serious about getting out of my own way. I could tell in detail about a book I wanted to write. I'd get my listener all pumped up and intrigued, telling me how good the book was going to be. Only to get the dopamine reward from their positive feedback and never write a word. Then have the nerve to have an attitude when they asked me months later when the book was coming out.

What most people miss is the accountability paradox. There's a fascinating psychological phenomenon that most accountability programs miss entirely: The stricter the system, the bigger the rebellion.

Think about it:

If your brain naturally resists control, even self-imposed control an inflexible program will not work for you. Rigid systems actually trigger psychological reactance. We've all seen videos about the strict diet that leads to binge eating. You have to know yourself and connect to the right type of accountability that gives you the greatest chance to succeed. For some, the tighter the control, the stronger the urge to break free. But there's more.

Excessive structure creates dependency:

External systems can weaken internal regulation. Think of this as driving home from work. How many times have you looked up and couldn't remember the route you took? Over-structured environments cripple decision-making. You drive this route, five days a week. Even if you have a few different routes, your brain doesn't have to utilize conscious resources to get you home. While this can be a good thing, in some settings, it becomes debilitating. Some people become helpless without their system. Real growth happens in the tension between support and struggle. We want your brain engaged in this process.

External motivation systems come with a price tag most don't see:

External rewards decrease intrinsic motivation. We can become so dependent on the intermittent reward that the actual goal loses value over time. When you're hungry for community performance becomes about the check-in, not the goal. From here the focus shifts from internal growth to external validation. Unknowingly, success becomes dependent on maintaining the external structure. To avoid this, your accountability group must keep the main thing the main thing. Otherwise, people lose touch with their own "why". They end the year with new "friends" and no real success.

For these reasons, I'm building something different. Not another basic accountability group, but a framework for transformation. In 2023, I ran a 6-month accountability group. Many quit and never completed their goals. The participants were mostly friends who joined to support me. So they were there for the wrong reasons and when they saw the work I expected them to put in, checking out was the next logical step. That experience taught me something crucial.

I'm not looking for casual goal-setters, friends, or New Year's resolutionists. I'm speaking to a select group:

• Those whose lives depend on achieving their goals (I need to lose weight to donate a kidney)

• People who feel called to their missions (I'm called to a passion project)

• Individuals tired of seeing the same unfulfilled dreams year after year (I'm still not debt-free)

• Those ready for real, uncomfortable growth (Alongside the goals, I want to see who I become in this process)

Instead of strict accountability, we're creating:

• Flexible systems that bend but don't break

• Progressive autonomy that builds self-trust

• Reflection practices that internalize motivation

• Support structures that empower rather than enable

• Systems that teach rather than just track

The key is balance: enough structure to support growth, but not so much that it suppresses internal development. It will be hard work but not so much as to supersede your goals. I want strangers because I don't care about the excuse. After we simplify, plan, and break into digestible chunks, all I want to know is, "Did you do what you said?"

Accountability is hard work. It's not for the faint of heart. And this group will not be for punks. What will keep you going isn't the system, it's the vision of who you'll become on the other side of accomplishing these goals.

I want strangers who, over 9 months, become friends because we grow together. People who are done with putting the same goals on their list year after year.

Ultimately, don't you want to become the person CAPABLE of achieving these goals?

Are you ready for real accountability? The uncomfortable kind that actually works?

Message below to apply for the Accountability Collective.