The Posture of Success

Every time you know the right thing to do and don’t, you’re choosing to stay stuck in a life that is not pleasing to you.

Many of us are looking around and evaluating our lives. There’s something about the fourth quarter of the year that makes us want to measure our successes. Some are happy with their results and plan to take new ground in the upcoming year. Then some, a large majority, are not so pleased about the position they find themselves in. Instead of taking life by the horns making it yield to them their desired life, they were taken for a ride that dropped them off at a destination they did not want to be. Now in a desperate attempt to make up for lost time and change that narrative for the coming year, they make resolutions, and we know the abysmal stats on those.

In the Bible, the prophet Elijah asked the people in 1 Kings 18, “How long will you halt between two opinions?” This is what I challenge you to ask yourself now. How long will you allow yourself to be surprised by your lack of success? How long will you stay on this hamster wheel with no destination? How long will you keep finding yourself disappointed in your results for the year?

As I’m writing this, it is 4 a.m. on November 4th and before getting up and grabbing my laptop I was lying in the dark, silently evaluating my year. What have I done? How have I measured up? And for the first time in YEARS, I can honestly say, I have put in the work to position myself for permanent success. Six months ago, it became glaringly obvious to me that at the pace I was going, I was not going to have the groundbreakingly successful year I’d imagined. Instead of giving up and letting it ride, I decided to start an accountability group. I invited fifteen friends of mine who were all working on hard things to join me on a journey through the end of the year to focus on one to three goals and crush them. Not only did I have to work and be a wife, mother, sister, and friend for those in my life outside of the group, but inside the group, I became a leader, coach, cheerleader, motivator, encourager, researcher, and educator all while building my capacity to crush my set goals. We have until the end of the year to complete and the way it looks, I’m on track to have my most accomplished year ever!

What made the difference? What changed from all the years I disappointed myself? What made the results of this year so different?

The answer is simple. Honesty and transparency. I made the DECISION to complete my goals… and this in itself was no small feat. In making the decision, I cut myself off from all other options. The decision solidified where I wanted to be and when. It also made saying no to anything contrary to my goals easy. Daily we are given so many options: to scroll or not to scroll; workout or binge-watch a series on television; finish the assignment or get a drink with our friends. This is the red pill–blue pill effect. You know you should work out but don’t feel like it. You know you should finish the project but it’s more fun to hang out with friends. Besides, if you didn’t go the FOMO would be real. Unfortunately, with no system in place to keep the main thing the main thing, we will always choose the easy, lazy, and more fun option. Sadly, that usually takes us away from our goals.

Having a tribe that is intimately aware of what you’re working on, knows the timeline that you have to get it done, and is willing to hold your feet to the fire is GOLD. You can be honest about what’s working and not. You can receive support in trying new things until you can gain traction. You can measure progress or lack thereof. You can be challenged about why you’re focusing only on the easy stuff and avoiding the harder. This level of accountability builds capacity and character if you ask me. Let me be honest with you, if you set real goals, in the beginning, they will require all of your conscious resources to get started and gain momentum. What you find in the process though is hard things become easier. As they do, you can then focus those now unused resources on working on the next level of your goal.

For example, my two goals were to lose weight and increase the revenue in my company by a certain amount. I wanted to have an active lifestyle so working out was mandatory. I dusted off my Peloton bike and at first, I could not even ride a full 10 minutes after not being on it for nearly a year. It took a few tries but soon, I could complete a 30-minute beginner’s class. I was gaining traction. I was seeing results. I was challenging myself. I was setting records. I was winning and proudly sharing with the group. One day, my Accountabili-Buddy (we made that up) asked me, “What’s going on with the revenue portion of your goal?” I gave an excuse. The next week, she asked me a similar but different question. I answered rather flippantly with another excuse. The third week at check-in she applauded my weight loss progress but still asked about my process for increasing the company’s revenues. As I was getting ready to answer, the excuse tasted like bile on my tongue. I could hear my words in my own ears like they were coming from outside of me. And I called myself out. The truth of the matter was it was hard. And just working out consistently was taking everything I had. But now, I could put some of the workout stuff on autopilot. I’m starting to like it so it requires less of my conscious resources. I can now focus on making new money for my company. This was a whole new challenge. But I did it. I'm doing it. There are only about one-third of us left in the group actively completing our goals. I get it. Who really wants to work this hard? Who really wants a life that goes from glory to glory or success to success? We all talk about it but who really wants to do the work? Not many, unfortunately.

There’s a verse in scripture that says, no man having put his hands to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God. What that says to me is you cannot continuously start and stop and expect to get the reward. You cannot work out some scheduled days and skip others and have the body you want. You have to make the sales calls to close the deal. If the work is scattered, so will be the results.

Success is a posture. It is the reward for your structure, your diligence, and your increased capacity. It is you overcoming the version of you that has gotten you to where you are. If you want more, you must become more. If you have the vision, you have to contend for it. Ask yourself, what story do I want to tell this time next year? You’ve heard mine. Now begin writing yours.

Key things you need to make this your reality:

• Faith – You have to first believe that more is possible.

• ·Work Ethic – You can build your ability. No matter how good you are, you can get better.

• Tribe – It’s far too easy to let yourself down. It’s much harder to disappoint people you care about.

• Honesty – First be honest with yourself about where you are and what can be achieved in your time frame

• Transparency – Don’t be afraid to tell about the failures along the way, everyone has them. You can’t fix what you hide.

May 2024 be the year that you take territory you’ve only dreamed about in the past.